the news

they told me the news,
     not so long ago.
the news about how you left
     quietly and unexpectedly.

i won't pretend that it was
     easy news.
no, it was shocking, heartbreaking, sad,
     and ruined my day.

i sobbed, unsure of what to do
     with this news.
but there is a time to mourn and grieve,
     which then gives way to remembrances.

the memory of summer beach trips
     and shopping mall excursions,
sleepovers, playing beauty shop,
     and eating our way through entire cities.

the memories make the news
     a little easier to digest.
but i do still wish
     we had time to say goodbye.

Will forever miss you, my Gram!

one of those days you just want your Mom

I am currently writing from Venice, Italy on July 11, 2012.  We have very shotty, and currently nonexistent, wifi so who knows when this will actually make it up on the blog!  Wifi, such a precious commodity that is so easy taken for granted back home. 

Yesterday, and today actually, were both days where I just wanted and needed my Mom.  I was hoping that, despite our plan to take on 4 European countries in a 3 week time period, my immune system would hold up the entire trip.  Clearly that was asking too much and my body has tanked out here in Venice.  I woke up yesterday with a wonderful headache, sore throat – the whole works of a nice head cold.  And even lovelier, it was probably about 90+ degrees out.  Being the smart “I-just-finished-my-degree-in-nursing” person that I am, I pushed through it and took on Venice for the day. 

David and I were both quite tired by the end of the day, and I felt even sicker than when we began.  So today I had to take a break and spent a lot of time with my bed in the cool of our hostel room.  As I write now I am feeling better than this morning, but still kind of feel like a got hit in the face by a train.  Just one of those moments in life when you wished your Mom was here with a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup, regardless of the sodium content in one of those suckers.  But enough ramblings about me being sick…

Venice in a nutshell: HOT, tourist-y, old buildings, cool architecture, small alleyways, and many canals!  Pictures can only do it so much justice.  The whole design and concept behind this city is fascinating, a city built on water.  I don't know much of the history about the city - maybe in my spare time, while not studying for NCLEX, I'll look it up.  :P  Since I don't currently have a ton of creative juices flowing inside of me I'll leave the rest of the Venice story up to pictures...enjoy!  Ciao!   

Looking across the water at another island of Venice.

The Canal Grande

Gelato, of course!  Delicious!

The square where the Italian Job begins.

David at some lux store...typical.

I found the Disney store too, Michaela!

Just loved this colorful, open, quiet square.

Tourist-y streets.

Italian pizza and pasta!  

So there ya go, Venice!  We had a good time, despite the illness that set in.  An experience of a lifetime walking through that city.  Ciao from Italy!  Oh, and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM!!!!  :)  Love you and miss you!   

transitions

Riding on the train gives you a lot of time to think and process, that is for sure.  I was just thinking about all of the transitions and changing times ahead of me.  This whole no-school-done-with-college thing is a strange one.

The Diaspora is happening. 

Molly just got a job at Colorado Children’s Hospital (yippee!), which is thoroughly exciting but will be a big change in my life.  We’ve lived right in the same house for the last two years and in very close proximity for the past four.  My dear friend Laura is getting MARRIED and moving to Utah – whyyyyy so far?!  Sicca Moniqua is headed to Stanford for grad school.  Siri is teaching English in Thailand for a year.  Sarah is going to SoCal for grad school.  My friends in Canada still live so far away in Canada (weird…).  Chelsea is going to Syracuse, NY for her dietetics internship.  Jsalls is already back home in MD.  Alyssa moved back to Cali.  Amanda is going to grad school in Cali.  DJers is getting married and living in Texas.  Seriously, the list goes on.  And my plan is to move back to PDX (yay for joining Marge), but thus leaving Michaela, Melissa, Melissa, Heidi (the remaining 515 lovelies).  Phew.  Just writing/re-reading that is exhausting to me.

My plan to move back to Portland is exciting, but will also be another big transition for me.  I do trust that the LORD will provide in terms of a job, new/old friend connections.  I just really have no idea how it will all pan out.  So is how life goes, unpredictable. 

My heart is definitely gearing up for sadness and is already beginning to ache at the upcoming changes.  But this is how life rolls, and I believe that it is in these transitions that we draw near to the LORD and learn how to rely and depend upon Him even more.  Life is just a series of transitions and changes lined up one after the other.

I also think of the inevitable changes coming for our family – grandparents are aging, kids are going to college, my Grandpa is suffering from Alzheimer’s, which will only continue to get worse, such is the nature of the disease.  These are not easy things “to look forward to”, but we know that the LORD is good and sovereign.  He has a plan even when we cannot see it, and His ways and plans are far superior to ours.  I think about the recent death of my Gram, just one moth ago.  That was not planned or expected, but to happened.  Despite my shock and anguish, my questions and sorrow, I will thank the LORD for His many blessings and provisions, and for the 21, almost 22, years I got to spend with my Gram.  Part of this life is that we don’t get to know all of the answers and sometimes we may only have questions – a lot of them!  And that is ok.  It is here that we learn and grow.  I hope that as these next few months/years of change and transition begin that I will rely and wait on the LORD.

Psalm 130:5

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

And in His word I put my hope.”         

a family history lesson

The past few days we had the privilege and pleasure of staying with some of our distant relatives in Northern Germany.  the long and short story of it is that our maternal grandmother's side of that family is from Germany (Beltz family name) - many of those distant relatives live in Germany due to the fact that our great-great-Grandfather was only 1 of 8 siblings who came to the United States.  We spent 2 nights with Henner Beltz and his family in Bad Zwischenahn, which is about an hour and a half north of Bremen.  Henner and his wife Ulrike are both in horticulture - gardening is a family trade-hobby that dates back many generations.  Our time with the Beltz family was wonderful.  The first night we were there we enjoyed picking strawberries (erdberre) and blueberries (blauberre) in their huge garden with Christa and Stefan (their children).  We enjoyed these fresh berries with eis (ice cream) after dinner!  Yummo!!


That evening Henner shared some family "facts" or stories with us.  He wasn't totally sure about the truth of it all, but some things he did know for sure.  There was one story of a distant relative getting burned for being a witch.  Another relative was a coachman (driver) for a brother of Napoleon Bonaparte who reigned over Kassel, Germany.  And the story that he knew of our great-great-Grandfather is that he was in job training to be a baker here in Germany.  The family had 8 children and they were very poor.  Ludwig, our great-great-Grandfather was supposedly caught stealing at his bakery job training and so they threw him out - sent him on a ship towards England.  He was apparently shipwrecked on this trip, but pulled out of the water to safety.  The story goes that he was again on a ship over to the Americas, shipwrecked, and pulled out of the water.  A final shipwreck was off of the West Coast of the United States, where he then made his way to the Portland, Oregon area, found a pretty lady - Emma Johnson, settled down and worked as a gardner in the Washington Park area.  If only we could have more facts and fewer questions - reminds me to keep a good journal!       


Nothing like a little family history lesson! 


On Mondaz the kids had to go to school, but Henner graciously took time off of work to show us around for the day.  He and Ulrike took us to the Nordsee (North Sea), which is about an hour away from their home in Bad Zwischenahn.  We had a great time checking out this part of the ocean.  The sand is very different than our sand at home - much finer, more like mud than sand.  There are multiple small islands just off the coast and during the low tide you can actually walk to the different islands with a guide.  The tides take 12 hours to go from high tide to high tide.  We walked and walked and walked on the beach and the water just kept getting farther and farther away from us.  The weather turned out to be quite nice for us, a very pleasant day.  


After dinner that evening we had the opportunity to go on a bike ride around the lake that is in Bad Zwischenahn.  The tour was about 14k and we got to ride on the sweet "cruiser" bikes that are EVERYWHERE here - big wheels, basket on the back and all.  I want one.  Seriously.  Mom and Dad, my birthday is August 25th... :)  Ulrike and Stefan took us on this ride as the sun was setting, totallz schön (beautiful)!!  The bike ride has seriously been one of my favorite things of our trip thus far.  It was so relaxing, beautiful, and surreal to be "just going on a casual bike ride" with our distant German relatives. 


On Tuesday morning Henner's older sister, Elfriede and her husband Heinz, who live about an hour outside of Bremen came and picked us up in Bad Zwischenahn.  From there we drove to Bremerhaven, which is the main city that German immigrants went through to get to the U.S., South America, and Australia.  Elfriede took us to the Deutsches Auswanderer Haus (Germany Emigration Center) Museum.  This was a very unique museum as you take on the identity and the story of both an immigrant and an emigrant.  As you travel through the museum you swiped your "iCard" and were able to hear details fromt he specific stories of "your" immigrant-emigrant.  The museum was set up as if you were walking the steps of the immigrant-emigrant.  On the immigrant side of things you stood at the dock, waiting for the ship to come - many people grew fearful when they waited at the docks, some even turned back, but many pressed onward with the hope of new beginnings.  We then walked through the ship, seeing what it was like for the first, second, and third class passengers.  All Ican say is that I'm thankful I didn't have to take an 8+ day ship to get over to the U.S.  Yikes.  After the ship, you exited onto "Ellis Island" and the "Office of the New World", waiting for paperwork and approval for entrance into the United States.  What a nerve-racking adventure that must have been.  We really enjoyed our tour through this museum and the history of it all.  


After Bremerhaven, we took a trip into Bremen, which is a very old German town.  Old churches and many historic buildings.  We walked down one street which had the oldest house in Bremen on it, built in 1409.  Wow!  Another beautiful sunny day to walk around an old town.  


The rest of our time with Elfriede and Heinz was great.  That evening we enjoyed a lovely sit on the patio - just soaking in all of the German culture.  :)


We are currently in Berlin and heading to Dresden tomorrow.  I'll write about Berlin later and hopefully put up pictures soon.  We're currently using a computer at the house we're staying at and therefore no luck with getting pictures up.  Will update as soon as possible!  


Ciao!